People regularly face family issues and, unfortunately, not everyone can find a way out of a conflict situation, which can eventually lead to divorce. In such a condition, the main thing is a competent approach. You need to know how the process of divorce happens to make it quick and stress-free. It is necessary to adhere to the algorithm of actions and specific requirements and rules established by law.
Before the dissolution of marriage in court, it is advisable to ponder and resolve the issues below:
• Division of property and debt acquired in marriage. In practice, this can be quite a difficult task, especially if a significant amount of capital has been learned in marriage. If the spouses have debt obligations, then both parties must also decide how they will be paid. For example, it is possible to sell part of the property acquired in marriage to pay off debts, or one of the parties may take all or most of the debt obligations in exchange for a larger share of the property.
• Payment of alimony (financial assistance) to the second party. If one party will pay the maintenance, it is necessary to agree on its amount and duration.
In some cases, the law establishes a specified period during which alimony payments are made. Spouses may enter into a written agreement on the amount of alimony, which must be certified by a notary before filing for divorce in court.
• Place of residence of children, the order of their visit and the amount of financial support for the child. If there are minor children in the marriage, the participation of each of the parents in raising and ensuring the living conditions of the children should be determined. Questions about the place of residence of children, the order and duration of their visit by the second party and the amount of child support are usually the most difficult and emotional during a divorce, especially if one side tries to use children to take revenge on the other.
Although the amount of child support also has an intense emotional coloring, there are several options for such payments (the share of earnings and a well-established amount of fees). The agreement between the spouses on the amount of child support cannot violate the interests of the children and must be notarized.
When resolving issues related to the divorce proceedings, it is necessary to be guided by the code of laws regulating the marriage and property relations between spouses. An inexperienced person may find it difficult to understand the nuances of applying certain provisions of laws and specific articles, so it is advisable to consult with an attorney in family matters.
Discussing the conditions of the divorce process and making a decision, follow the rule that your choice should be fair for both parties and (ideally) coincide with the conclusion of the judge if the disputed issues are considered in court.
Divorce proceedings are decided in the following cases provided by law:
• There are minor children in the family, so the court must ensure that their interests are respected. When the spouses file a joint application for the dissolution of marriage in court, they may file a written contract in which they must state: the place of residence of the children, as well as participation in the upbringing and maintenance of the living conditions of the children of each parent. The agreement on the amount of child support for children must be notarized. At the end of the statutory period (usually about a month), the court considers the application of the spouses and, if it is established that it genuinely reflects the intentions of the parties, does not violate their personal and property rights, as well as the rights of their children, the court issues a divorce decree. Before the expiration of this period, the spouses may withdraw their application.
• One spouse does not want to dissolve the marriage. The court may take measures to reconcile the spouses. As a rule, it sets a certain period (from one to six months) during which the spouses can change their decision to dissolve the marriage in court.
In some cases, this period may be reduced. At the end of this period, the court considers the application for divorce on the merits.
• One of the spouses does not object to the divorce proceedings but refuses to file a joint claim to the court.
Overall, it may be that the result of the divorce will not satisfy any of the parties. Studies show that when divorcing in court, the division of property and financial obligations of spouses are the most common issues. To achieve the goals set in court, it is advisable to choose the right strategy to protect one’s interests together with a family lawyer in advance.
Tips on What to NOT do when Divorcing
1. Do not Make Children to Take Sides
Naturally, the last thing parents want for their children in the process of divorce is to cause them pain and suffering. Unfortunately, in practice, the actions of parents during separation can bring a lot of mental torment to children.
Of course, the parents may be angry at this difficult time and want to punish each other, but using children as hostages of the situation can cause serious harm to their psyche. Do not force the child to take your side or to prove love for you by denying his/her feelings towards the second parent.
2. Do not Consider Your Attorney as Your Psychologist
Your lawyer may be an excellent specialist, sympathetic, a wonderful listener, but he or she is not a mental health professional. Therefore, every time, complaining about your ex, do not forget that you are paying for this time.
3. Avoid Unauthorized Costs
Some couples are ready to fight to the end to keep something. However, your lawyer is the one who wins in this case. When you are trying to get the unnecessary stuff for yourself, you pay him/her. Usually, you are not even fighting for things but the win.
4. Do not Refuse the Mediator
It can be understood that the very idea that you will sit at the negotiating table with your ex, trying to discuss the problems politely, is not pleasant. You may not be able to solve all the controversial issues in this way, but even deciding at least a few of them with the help of a mediator will save you time and money. You may be pleasantly surprised to find out that you and your ex will soon agree on specific terms.
5. Do not Demonize the other Parent in the Child’s Eyes
Do not allow yourself and your relatives to speak poorly of the second parent in the presence of children. Remember that the baggage of your relationship should not fall on them.
6. Do not Start New Relationships Right Away
Divorce can be intense, and it’s normal that you will want to experience the feelings of emotional connection, comfort, and abstraction that a new romantic relationship has to offer.
However, keep in mind that it may only make your divorce process more complicated and lengthy as you will have another person having an opinion on it, which may prevent you from making the right decision.